read much?

first books checked out on her own!

spring break reading material

making her go to bed at 10PM, after reading all of these!

A few weeks ago we got C her own library card.  We got her own because we cannot keep up with her reading and we live within a block of a library...have I ever mentioned how much I love the location of our rental house, love, love , love it!  Carter loves these books called Rainbow Magic fairy books, there are 234 in the whole series, she has read 100 of them and wants to read them all.  It takes all 3 of our library cards to get the holds and check out as many as possible.  We still have a bunch left.  The good news is that they range from 60 to 120 pages so she can read a bunch in a one day or in bed at night (her favorite time to read).  I love a good reading goal and I am proud of this munchkin.  She also mops, folds laundry and made her own birthday invitations, I really feel like my life is getting too easy!

need a good laugh?

So remember when Carter was feeling a bit sick so she stayed home from school and ended up helping me mop?

Well today the cousins were over since they are on spring break (they live 20 minutes away but live in a different school district so that means different spring breaks, annoying to say the least) and we were all heading to McDonald's for a healthy lunch and some sanitary play (insert sarcasm) with my nieces and sis in law and of course Theo.  On the way there we realized we wanted Carter to join us so I emailed her teacher real quick to take her to lunch with us.  When I ran into her school to pick her up, her teacher was laughing and said "you're not taking Carter out of school to mop are you?"  When Cart's teacher told her not to head to the lunch room with her class because I was coming to get her she said it was probably to help me mop since I hate doing it and she does such a great job at it...I tell you, if anything my kids will be clean freaks too, Happy Friday people, love my kiddo! 

(just so you know, she did not mop and we took her right back to school after our McDonald's lunch, education first, cleaning second!)

in case you wanted to see today's fashion choice, cute pie, really melts my heart with her pose and sneakers ; )

fitting lyrics

love these lyrics by Death Cab for Cutie (quite possibly the worst name for a bad ever, but I love their music) in the song You Are A Tourist-

And if you feel just like a tourist in the city you were born
Then it's time to go
And define your destination
There's so many different places to call home
Because when you find yourself the villain in the story you have written
It's plain to see
That sometimes the best intentions are in need of redemption's
Would you agree?
If so please show me

I do agree!

shake it up

I am trying to make the conscience decision to not be on the computer so much.  It's hard.  The computer is in our playroom, near the laundry room and needless to say the location is very tempting, very tempting indeed.  My plan for now is to use the computer in the evenings after the kids go to bed. Do I really need to be on it 2, or 3, or even 4 or more times a day? No. So that means I may post less, or I may post a bunch of stuff in one day but either way my blogging will be inconsistent at best.

34

I turn 34 tomorrow, I am not going to lie, I am having a hard time with this one. I don't want to get older, for the first time in my life, I really just don't want to get older.  I have felt very unsettled knowing that my birthday was creeping up.  I think breaking my toe, our one and only car breaking down, a little family drama and the fact that a few of my hopes and dreams are not coming true, throw that all on top of turning 34 on New Years Eve and boom, you get a bit of a Carissa pity party. I have been doing my share of pity party to anyone and everyone who will listen. I have several amazing friends who listen non-stop and love me, care about me and pity party with me but mostly they also tell me to shut up and get over myself.  I love that about them (you know who you are, wink, wink) they love me so much that they tell me to shut it, but always with love.  I have a blessed life, I really do.  It's not perfect.  I struggle.  I struggle with my weight.  I struggle with my kids.  I struggle with my husband.  I struggle with family and with friends.  I struggle with my place in life.  I struggle with my desire to have another baby and I struggle with trying to also let that go.  I struggle with control.  I struggle with jealousy.  I really could go on and on and on but then it would be a long post about my Carissa pity party and that is boring, it really is.  What I do know is that on my 34 birthday, I am deeply loved by so many people and it's so emotional to even write about.  I have such an amazing husband who is crazy in love with me, yup me the one who struggles with so much, he loves me for me, plain and simple.  My kids love me, mommy, and I am so blessed to be their momma.  I have many friends but I have four awesome ladies who love me, who care deeply about me, about Jeremy and about my kids.  There is never a week that goes by that I do not receive a text, email or phone call from each and everyone of them, sometimes all three in just one day. Thank you Emy, Salwa, Jo and Deirdre.  Thanks for making everyday feel like my birthday just because I have you, your friendships are the greatest gift.  I am also so very thankful for my parents, their wisdom and love have carried me through. I am thankful for the laughter and joy I share with my brothers. So, on this New Year, my 34th year, I want to make sure that I am forever grateful even in the midst of hardships or disappointments.  I want the people around me to know how much I care and appreciate them.  I want to scratch the old plans, hopes and dreams for my life and make new ones and just follow God's plan for my life.  I might have to loosen the reigns a bit and learn to chill out.  But, I have pretty good idea that several people will be along for the ride, to help me out!

Happy New Year, peeps!

I think 2012 and 34 could be pretty fantastic, if I only let it, 3 cheers to that and my new pretty fabulous shoes!

daily scripture

I get a scripture emailed to me daily,  I have been a bit behind on reading a few emails but finally had the chance to get caught up today and read this scripture:

Dear Children, let's not merely say that we love each other; let us show by our actions.
1 John 3:18 (New Living Translation)

Honestly, reading that was like a dagger through my heart.  I have not been loving by actions, as a matter of fact my actions down right stink.  Sometimes it's a lot easier to love than to like someone but that doesn't mean I drop the ball on having loving words and actions.  How often am I impatient with the grocer check out person or behind a slow car?  my children are watching my actions and if my actions are not loving how can I expect my kids to be loving towards each other? if they see me gossip or act unkind they will gossip and act unkind, if I am lazy and impatient, they will be lazy and impatient.  If I am loving even if it's by the grace of God then my kids will learn to be loving in all circumstances even when it's really difficult. 

neurotic

yes, this is me frantically scrapping and cleaning mud off my kids rain boots, yup, you read that right.  I was cleaning mud off of rain boots that are meant to be muddy! 

Sooooo...

between my broken toe, picking up too many extra shifts at work and having to deal with crazy mall parking and traffic, turning 34 in a week and half and not being pregnant, and gaining 4 pounds, I have hit my bottom, this momma cannot stop crying and the worst part is I am at work, at a maternity store helping out super cute and really young moms to be.  It's 6 days before Christmas and no one should be crying. I am just done, period.  I hate the "woe is me" but today I just can't help it. Boo.

ouch and other things

I broke my toe today, pretty badly,  my poor toe is bending in a way that is not natural at all and my whole right foot is in a boot.  Luckily, my moms husband is a podiatrist and was able to fix me up quickly but holy smokes it. is. painful. like really, really painful. I have to hop on my one good foot or crawl on my hands and knees to get anywhere, obviously it's not a great way to start one of our "super weekend before Christmas" weekends, I will obviously have to slow it down and all my pretty holiday heels will be taking a long hiatus, sad.  My mom was joking that I need a shot of whiskey to help the pain and not an hour later Jeremy came home from work with this:

6 bottles of whiskey, Johnnie Walker blue label included.  Jeremy just went to rent a movie so I will be sitting on the couch with my poor foot up watching a movie while sipping on a little bit whiskey and taking it easy, which for me is really hard!

zzzzzzzz

Today, I am super thankful for good little sleepers who had no problem being put to bed at 6:30pm last night.  Theo was out cold in 5 minutes and Carter read for a bit but was sound asleep by 8.  They woke up at 7:30. Sleep in our house equals lovely temperaments, so I am a BIG fan of 13 hour sleep sessions and basically early bedtimes in general.  It's such a fantastic way to start the week!

busy

I can't possibly be the only one who is so busy that I hardly have time to come up for air?  Quite frankly, I am not even sure what we are so busy doing as my kids are not in a various array of activities other than Girlscouts and swim but nonetheless we are busy busy busy, just slightly more busy than I like.  I can't wait to slow it down this weekend while hanging with the Tharp's, although come to think of it we will probably be a whirlwind of activity there as well.  I am thinking 4 hour nap on the drive over!

wow...

apparently my few blog readers who have children have obedient and amazing eaters who get themselves dressed, either that or they are better at following through with discipline than I am, which I am pretty sure is the case because Jeremy and I get a big fat F in that area.  Today, however has been much better because through this blog I found this article (which oddly enough was written by the sister of a former classmate who has another sister that has a fabric line that happened to show fabric once at the same show as my hospital buddy that I met and stayed friends with while I was in the hospital having Theo, did you follow all that? small world huh? talented people too, seriously!) and after I read said article I was reminded that my kids are indeed a blessing (I do know that but sometimes I just need a reminder) and they are only a burden because of my complete lack of self control, discipline and patience.  The article made some amazing points, I highly recommend reading it but what most stuck out to me was some of the many points that Rachel makes.   "Have you given to your children resentfully?"   I will just admit that on plenty of occasions my kids annoy me, I want space, I want free time, I want quiet, I want clean, I want order, but I also want more kids...uh what?  yup, I want more and yet I cannot even get the guts, the patience and the discipline in order that Theo so deserves.  I had a big ol' "AH HA" moment today after reading Rachel's article.  Here, I have been pouting to God and my husband about having another baby, saying things like "life is not fair", "others get what I deserve or want" etc. etc. and instead of stopping and listening to the one who already has my life planned out. I have just been going on and on and on about ME ME ME for years and months about what I do not have and then God reached into my heart and head and just said "Stop" "focus on what you have"  "work on Theo, work on Carter, be better for them, to them, put their value first, as well as Jeremy's"  It was clear and I listened.  Rachel writes "The Bible is clear about the value of children. Jesus loved them, and we are commanded to love them, to bring them up in the nurture of the Lord, We are to imitate God and take pleasure in our children"  I have been so far from imitating God in my discipline with my children that it is down right embarrassing.  Where do my children rank in my life?  Where does Jeremy rank?  Where does the value of begging for a 3rd baby rank? my order is really messed up and my kids know it.  I needed Rachel's pep talk and she didn't even know she was giving it to me.  I needed to read her words and God's voice.  I need to repent and I need to ask God for help in raising the two amazing kids I have.  I need to gain the wisdom and strength to discipline Theo correctly.  Please pray for our family as we do some major reconstructing.

The Nag

I have a nasty little problem...it's called nagging.  It's a very unattractive trait yet it seems to take over my day, especially with my 4 year old.  He is slow, painfully slow.  My patience wears thin almost every morning getting him to not only sit still to eat a healthy breakfast but to also actually eat it.  He's not a picky eater, he eats almost anything.  The problem is he eats only a few bites and my momma instincts to make my kids eat takes over and I nag or even worse I baby feed my 4 year old!  I remind him several times at every meal to take more bites, to eat more, to sit still and focus on eating.  I am sick of my own nagging voice.  I need some help, ideas, words of encouragement to get this nipped in the bud.  My little guy also takes FOREVER to get himself dressed and guess what?  I nag him all morning, I set timers, I make threats. I freak out, I sometimes get him dressed, we are both exhausted by 9am.  I want the dressing and eating battles to stop.  I know without a doubt the problem is with me, my inconsistency, my lack of self control, my lack of patience.  I have heard such a gamut of ideas.  Most say "he will eat when he is hungry" or "let him wear pj's to school" etc. and although I agree to a certain extent, it's hard for this momma to do.  I would love some tips from my lovely friends.  Please don't just say "we don't have that problem in our house, I would not accept it"  I need encouragement and "real" ideas and probably a lot of prayers.  This is a Theo issue only, for some reason Carter does just fine which makes me realize I may not be a complete failure of a parent but Theo can push those buttons and he's small so I want him to eat, I just want to stop nagging and stop the battles and have an obedient eater and dresser and cleaner upper all throughout the day, thoughts?

*I am reading Love & Logic (again) and it has great ideas, I just need the patience to orchestrate the ideas!

Target trap

What is it with Target?  I just got back from Target. I went in to get a bottle of wine and navy tights.  I left with two bottles of wine, navy tights, coffee creamer,  two boxes of Halloween shaped mac and cheese, pumpkin flavored cream cheese, bananas and a nerf gun.  I gave the cashier about five other items that I decided last minute I didn't need.  That place is a money trap, super smart marketing tactics going on there.  I need to be wiser.

I went to the doctor today for my yearly check-up, turns out I am pretty healthy.  It appears, however,that I have shrunk an inch and I am indeed just 5' 5 not 5' 6 as I have tried to pretend I have been for years...bummer.  Our new doctor is in Seattle on First hill near Capitol hill and I went to Crossroads trading co. afterwards, well actually I got a Dick's cheeseburger first then went shopping.  I needed new skinny jeans and I am pleased to say that I found an awesome pair and because of my credit from Crossroads I got them for $.50 cents, yup $.50 cents!  I was psyched.  Do you ever have those days where the sun is shining, you get an awesome deal, or fantastic good news or maybe both and life is just good?  I mean really really good?  I had one of those moments this afternoon, I felt like I need an awesome soundtrack playing while I walked down the street just a smiling my day away.  Not sure what music should have been playing (suggestions?) or if skinny jeans are still "in" (are they?) but either way life is good and so are my jeans!

My $.50 jeans! (blurry iPhone pic by Carter)

There is a bit of irony when you have friends over for dinner.  I spent last night vacuuming, Jeremy mopped.  I dusted the whole house and cleaned our bathroom today.  I'm making sure we have clean rooms and I even pulled out a few fall and Halloween decorations.  I am making a nice presentation for our friends.  The irony?  our friends don't care if we have dust bunnies, or cluttered floors or non-perfectly fluffed pillows.  That's the beauty of friendship, true and unabashed friendship.  So what that the squash risotto is made by Trader Joe's or that we are having boxed mix brownies for dessert?  the point is the fellowship, the friendship, we could be eating ramen noodles and it could be a dinner party that goes down in the history books. I have always loved company but as I get older, I really like company.  I really like adult friendships.  I really like post dinner dance parties, kids running around, empty wine bottles, discarded board games and burned out candles.  It's fun.  I think that we shall try to have  friends over at least once a month, even if it's only to show off our sparkling clean house and non-culinary skills!

life needs cupcakes!

Why not?  it's Thursday, the sun is shining and I love to bake, there is no reason ever needed to enjoy funfetti cupcakes with homemade butter cream frosting! I made a ton, don't you wish you were at my house this afternoon?

Theo is waiting so patiently for Carter to get home from school.

this might become my new mantra!

3 cheers for...

big & long scarves

rain boots, rain jackets and cute umbrellas

funky and thick warm sweaters

Welcome back Autumn!

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I am not sure if it's my new 6:30am wake up time, or my coffee cake making, laundry going, floors vacuumed, bathroom bleached, sheets changed, all by 9:30am today..or the 3 to 4 cups of coffee I drink all day long to help me recover from all those activities, but this momma is TIRED!  I need a really good night of sleep. Tylenol PM is calling my name.

Well, this is certainly easier said (or read) than done!  I recently (finally) lost about 6 pounds and you know what?  I don't look any different, nobody noticed, sure my jeans fit a little better but other than that nothing really changed and despite the fact that I am happy to have lost a little, I still have a major poochy tummy.  I have this assumption that if I could just get to my perfect weight (pre-Theo weight) life will be perfect and clothes will look great on me and I would look like other people who have had more children than me and are certainly skinnier than me, but I am beginning to think that not much at all would change, life would, indeed still be imperfect. One of my favorite quotes is comparison is a thief of joy and it's so very true, I live everyday consumed with my weight, with what I eat, if I am exercising enough or even at all and quite frankly it's exhausting.  I want to come to terms that this may be my new weight and I may always have a jiggly after baby belly, I might never get to wear a cute t-shirt or a tighter tank top, but how do I accept it and just move on?  I want to enjoy life and food without being plagued with guilt for days.  I read the article and it made sense but there was no tried and true formula for "loving yourself just the way you are" and sucking my tummy in ALL the time is getting tiresome!