34

I turn 34 tomorrow, I am not going to lie, I am having a hard time with this one. I don't want to get older, for the first time in my life, I really just don't want to get older.  I have felt very unsettled knowing that my birthday was creeping up.  I think breaking my toe, our one and only car breaking down, a little family drama and the fact that a few of my hopes and dreams are not coming true, throw that all on top of turning 34 on New Years Eve and boom, you get a bit of a Carissa pity party. I have been doing my share of pity party to anyone and everyone who will listen. I have several amazing friends who listen non-stop and love me, care about me and pity party with me but mostly they also tell me to shut up and get over myself.  I love that about them (you know who you are, wink, wink) they love me so much that they tell me to shut it, but always with love.  I have a blessed life, I really do.  It's not perfect.  I struggle.  I struggle with my weight.  I struggle with my kids.  I struggle with my husband.  I struggle with family and with friends.  I struggle with my place in life.  I struggle with my desire to have another baby and I struggle with trying to also let that go.  I struggle with control.  I struggle with jealousy.  I really could go on and on and on but then it would be a long post about my Carissa pity party and that is boring, it really is.  What I do know is that on my 34 birthday, I am deeply loved by so many people and it's so emotional to even write about.  I have such an amazing husband who is crazy in love with me, yup me the one who struggles with so much, he loves me for me, plain and simple.  My kids love me, mommy, and I am so blessed to be their momma.  I have many friends but I have four awesome ladies who love me, who care deeply about me, about Jeremy and about my kids.  There is never a week that goes by that I do not receive a text, email or phone call from each and everyone of them, sometimes all three in just one day. Thank you Emy, Salwa, Jo and Deirdre.  Thanks for making everyday feel like my birthday just because I have you, your friendships are the greatest gift.  I am also so very thankful for my parents, their wisdom and love have carried me through. I am thankful for the laughter and joy I share with my brothers. So, on this New Year, my 34th year, I want to make sure that I am forever grateful even in the midst of hardships or disappointments.  I want the people around me to know how much I care and appreciate them.  I want to scratch the old plans, hopes and dreams for my life and make new ones and just follow God's plan for my life.  I might have to loosen the reigns a bit and learn to chill out.  But, I have pretty good idea that several people will be along for the ride, to help me out!

Happy New Year, peeps!

I think 2012 and 34 could be pretty fantastic, if I only let it, 3 cheers to that and my new pretty fabulous shoes!

Christmas fun!

a few more pics from Christmas-

all set up, waiting for the AM!

Christmas breakfast courtesy of my amazing husband!

Christmas night at my inlaws with the cousins, more fun-

Theo and cousin Cooper. goof balls!

the best Christmas gift, xbox 360 with Kinect, my kids have never had so much screen time in their whole lives, I can't wait for my toe to heal so I can jump up and down too!

Christmas Eve pony rides

We went to The Bravern on Christmas Eve for a little free pony riding and last minute letter writing to Santa and maybe a few last minute gift (ahem, Jeremy!) the kids had a blast.  Later that evening we opened Christmas jammies that the kids had picked out for everyone and had a fantastic dinner that Jeremy made.  Our original plans got canceled but it was nice to have a quiet evening at home, the kids were in bed by 8:30pm and Jeremy and I started on our toy building and present wrapping, we always make a few cocktails, pop a movie in and get deep into Playmobil building, it's a tradition every year.  We are going to be pretty sad when our kids no longer play with Playmobil, those large sets take forever to build but we love it!

, I love that they pick their own things now (i.e new Christmas jammies)  and even wrap them for themselves!

Ta Da!  is my girl long or what?

daily scripture

I get a scripture emailed to me daily,  I have been a bit behind on reading a few emails but finally had the chance to get caught up today and read this scripture:

Dear Children, let's not merely say that we love each other; let us show by our actions.
1 John 3:18 (New Living Translation)

Honestly, reading that was like a dagger through my heart.  I have not been loving by actions, as a matter of fact my actions down right stink.  Sometimes it's a lot easier to love than to like someone but that doesn't mean I drop the ball on having loving words and actions.  How often am I impatient with the grocer check out person or behind a slow car?  my children are watching my actions and if my actions are not loving how can I expect my kids to be loving towards each other? if they see me gossip or act unkind they will gossip and act unkind, if I am lazy and impatient, they will be lazy and impatient.  If I am loving even if it's by the grace of God then my kids will learn to be loving in all circumstances even when it's really difficult. 

Joy to the World!

this is joy...

this is blessings...

I love when jeremy makes breakfast, especially on Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

greatest gift

Sweet baby Mateo who's name means "gift from God" was born last night to my cousin Katie who tragically  lost her daughter Elisabeth one day before her due date and was told that because of complications delivering Elisabeth that she was unable to have more children, God is good, Mateo is the best gift ever, our family is blessed.  We are feeling the love and ever so thankful for the gift of life. 

neurotic

yes, this is me frantically scrapping and cleaning mud off my kids rain boots, yup, you read that right.  I was cleaning mud off of rain boots that are meant to be muddy! 

favorite Christmas card ever!

a fabulous friend can lift spirits in no time, Merry Christmas!

lots of new blog posts, last week was busy!

ugly Christmas sweater party

The parties keep coming...Tyler and Jessica's annual ugly Christmas sweater party!

Mullet hair Jeremy and I with his brother Tyler and sis in law Jessica
(don't I look super middle aged, suburban mom in this pic, wow!)

 Jeremy won last year for the ugliest sweater so this year he wanted to give someone else a chance to win  (that was his excuse at least for not wearing an ugly sweater)

Jessica with not only an ugly sweater but also a baby bump, only 2 months to go and I get a new niece!

Christmas celebration #1

Our whole family was able to get together last weekend for an early Christmas celebration.  Justin and his family came from Spokane and Trevor and Kendra from Portland.  We had a blast!   I like spreading it out because so far this week has been quiet because the kids are occupied with new toys.  I got my cute little measuring cup stacking dolls (Thanks Kendra and Trevor) and many wonderful new treats.  It's so nice to see my kids and their cousins have so much fun exchanging gifts.  My mom and John made a wonderful dinner, it was perfect.  Merry Christmas!

 Kendra, Shyrah and me (and Theo)

Sunrise likes to sleep through all the festivities!

Playmobil firehouse, yay!

Praline and Playmobil, fun!

Theo really wanted this Lego Star wars sticker book.

playing a new game





last week

Carter and Ms. Rosenthal making a snowman at school

We like to bring the whole family to school events!

Cart and cousin Saphyre at dinner

Yum!



Tharps and Persons



us

Theo's preschool Christmas show

Last week Theo's sweet little school put on a Christmas show, it was cute, cute, cute!

His buddy and cousin Cooper came and that by far was the highlight for Theo.  Theo was very serious during his performance but he became very silly after with Cooper.

Theo and his teacher

so happy to see Cooper

silly cousins, these two are only 6 months apart!

Sooooo...

between my broken toe, picking up too many extra shifts at work and having to deal with crazy mall parking and traffic, turning 34 in a week and half and not being pregnant, and gaining 4 pounds, I have hit my bottom, this momma cannot stop crying and the worst part is I am at work, at a maternity store helping out super cute and really young moms to be.  It's 6 days before Christmas and no one should be crying. I am just done, period.  I hate the "woe is me" but today I just can't help it. Boo.

My broken toe has definitely been slowing me down but we did celebrate Christmas last weekend with my side of the family and attended a ugly Christmas sweater party where I did a lot of sitting and eating holiday treats, pictures to come!

ouch and other things

I broke my toe today, pretty badly,  my poor toe is bending in a way that is not natural at all and my whole right foot is in a boot.  Luckily, my moms husband is a podiatrist and was able to fix me up quickly but holy smokes it. is. painful. like really, really painful. I have to hop on my one good foot or crawl on my hands and knees to get anywhere, obviously it's not a great way to start one of our "super weekend before Christmas" weekends, I will obviously have to slow it down and all my pretty holiday heels will be taking a long hiatus, sad.  My mom was joking that I need a shot of whiskey to help the pain and not an hour later Jeremy came home from work with this:

6 bottles of whiskey, Johnnie Walker blue label included.  Jeremy just went to rent a movie so I will be sitting on the couch with my poor foot up watching a movie while sipping on a little bit whiskey and taking it easy, which for me is really hard!

questionaire

my friend Kelly posted this on her blog, I asked Carter and Theo (at different times) to participate and this is what we got-
1. What is something Mommy always says to you?
C: "I loooove you"! (long and drawn out, apparently)
T: "I love me" but I think he meant that I love him

2. What makes Mommy happy?
C: "Hugs"
T: "a hug"

3. What makes Mommy sad?
C: "no, hugs"
T: "someone lying to you"

4. How does Mommy make you laugh?
C: "tickling me"
T: "by sticking your tongue out" (I'm classy like that!)

5. What was Mommy like as a child?
C: "playful"
T: "I don't know"

6.How old is Mommy?
C: "33, almost 34"
T: "43" (yikes!)

7. How tall is Mommy?
C: "probably, 5 feet"
T: "1, 2. 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10"

8. What is Mommy's favorite thing to do?
C: "baking cakes"
T: "saying I love you"

9. What does Mommy do when you're not around?
C: "clean"
T: "run errands"

10. If Mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?
C: "movie star!"
T: "famous for TV"

11. What is Mommy really good at?
C: "cleaning"
T: "everything"

12. What is Mommy not very good at?
C: "I can't think of anything" (bless her!)
T: "getting upset when I dump the game Apples to Apples"

13. What does Mommy do for her job?
C: "she sells baby stuff" (I work one day a week at a maternity store)
T: "go to work"

14. What is Mommy's favorite food?
C: "salad"
T: "salad"

15. What makes you proud of Mommy?
C: "that you're a good mommy"
T: "hugging"

16. What do you and Mommy do together?
C: "read and play"
T: "doing something good to our self, like kissing"

17. How are you and Mommy the same?
C: "we are both girls and we both have blond hair and we are in the same family"
T: "we have the same hair but yours is longer"

18. How are you and Mommy different?
C: "mom is a grown up and I am kid and she can type fast"
T: "you have blue slippers and I have spider man ones"

19. How do you know Mommy loves you?
C: "you hug and read to me"
T: "hugs and kisses"

20. Where is Mommy's favorite place to go?
C: "grandpa Dave's house!"
T: "bed"


keep in mind that Theo is 4 so some of these questions were a bit challenging : )

and there you have it

Today, after Theo's preschool Christmas performance I found myself kid free. My mother in law took Theo and his cousin to lunch and Carter was at school.  I did what I hope any self-respecting mother with unexpected free time on her hands with an already clean house and not an ounce of laundry to fold I treated myself to a Chai latte (well, actually that was courtesy of my mom, thanks momma for the Starbucks gift card!) and a super indulgent almond croissant.  That my blog reading friends is a very satisfying afternoon!

making a list

How fantastic are these?

they on my Christmas list and if I don't get them for Christmas then there is always my birthday  (perfect birthday present, Kitchen aid, please!) , my kitchen needs these little cuties!

busy!

 Last weekend we had swim lessons, a kids birthday party, a lovely walk around Green lake seeing lights, a way past our kids bedtime (and mine) dinner party, then on Sunday we had church, a family birthday party, a little bit of work, and last but not least The Amazing Race finale (super disappointed with the winners) We had a whirlwind weekend, deep breath, exhale...moving into a super busy weeks, super busy.  I am helping out at the store this week, doing a bunch of closing shifts which means lots of late nights and the regular stuff during the day and then more closing shifts, it will be busy but I like it. I like it because after Christmas we have a nice long week of calm, Jeremy has 10 days (yay!) off, and besides my nieces birthday and my own, it's a pretty quiet week, lots of playing with new toys, and seeing friends, just the way life should be at the very end of the year.

Green lake walk

cute dads

4 kids in a wagon

Crash, apparently 4 kids is too many!

I forgot to post a pic of our tree all decorated and pretty, I love it!