Thankfully, many of us will not know the heartbreak of losing a child. Some of you do. Last July, a day after we celebrated Theo's 3rd birthday my cousin Katie had to give birth to her daughter Elisabeth who unexpectedly died in her womb just two days before her due date. It was terrible. I went to see Katie in the hospital, who still had her pregnancy glow despite having to watch her pitocin drip and knowing that she would have to deliver a dead baby. I gave her a hug and felt her round full belly and was really hoping the doctors had been wrong and that Elisabeth would be born and everything would be okay.
Katie and I have always been more like sisters than cousins. We both grew up with two brothers and although there were 350 miles between our homes we saw each other often. We dreamed about having kids. I wanted three girls Emy, Emily and Elizabeth (yes, all E's and my name tastes have changed a bit!) and Katie wanted 6 kids, 5 of her own and one adopted! She got the name Elisabeth, but one thing we never ever dreamed about was that one of our babies would die, who ever thinks about that as a kid?
When I found out that Katie had lost Elisabeth I was at Costco buying Theo's birthday party food and I felt this tremendous about of sadness, anger, disappointment and guilt. I felt guilty that I was able to celebrate my son's birth as she was celebrating the death of her daughter. Life is unfair.
Katie and her husband Jose had tried for many year to get pregnant with Elisabeth. After her son Noah was born (he is now 7) many doctors told her that trying to conceive again would be difficult due to many different things. Getting pregnant with Elisabeth was a miracle and a blessing. I was happy to be back in Washington to celebrate with her. They had picked out the name Elisabeth early on in the pregnancy and I don't find it a coincidence that the name means "pledged to God". Katie proudly wears a necklace with both her children's names on it.
Katie delivered Elisabeth Patricia on July 17th, 2010. She was beautiful. My mom got to hold her and then came right over to celebrate Theo's birthday. I think we were all a bit numb that day. It was so hard to watch all these beautiful and healthy children run around at Theo's party while my cousin had just had her heart broken. All of our hearts were broken.
The heartbreak has continued over the last eight months as Katie and Jose have struggled to get pregnant only to hear that her chances are very slim. After much prayer and consideration, Katie and Jose decided to adopt. Adoption is hard. Katie and Jose have decided to adopt a child from Africa. It's a lot of well worth it work, especially to adopt internationally. It is also very expensive. Katie is a kindergarten teacher and Jose works for Eddie Bauer corporate they are hard working people but despite that the average cost for a international adoption is $22,000-$30,000. I am very certain that many of us do not have that much money just hanging around but I am very certain that many of you have big hearts. My cousin has a big heart despite losing her baby. She wants to help save a child (or two) from Africa and I want to help her. I am asking from the bottom of my heart for my friends support in donating a large or small amount to help them on their adoption journey. Elisabeth will always be loved and missed, but I also know that God has wonderful plans for Katie, Jose and Noah.
If you want to read more about their adoption journey, click here:
http://www.angelsinourhearts.blogspot.com/
Thanks so much, Carissa
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| Katie (with hulahoop) and me (with the pretend belly) |
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| Elisabeth |
